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How to Zombie

Jack Van der Merwe

So, you are dead now. Hooray! Welcome to the dark side. Please, make yourself at home.  Do not be discouraged by your recent failure as a human (disgusting creatures), for now you have the opportunity to devour the brains of every one you meet. To help you on your quest for human flesh, we have compiled a guide, with help from veteran HvZ player Michael Simons, to get you feeding in no time.


1) The horde is your friend.

While it might be tempting to go human hunting as a lone wolf (more brains for you?), it won’t be very effective. According to Simons, when humans start grouping up it can be very difficult to hunt them yourself, and trying will only amount to a face full of socks and a bruised ego. Also, humans start panicking very quickly and seeing a horde of zombies come towards them will cause them to make mistakes. So do as they do in the movies and join up with your fellow zombies. Don’t be shy, we don’t bite. Oh wait….never mind.


2) Humans still seem to hold onto memories of life before the apocalypse.

For one reason or another many humans still go along their regular routes to class. Take advantage of this. Find areas with high foot traffic and go nuts chasing your former brethren. A good place to start is the area around The Kaif.


3) Smart humans make use of routes that they would never normally use.

Some humans, the ones with actually functioning brains, make use of paths that are completely out of the way in order to avoid zombies. As a zombie yourself, it doesn’t hurt to check these paths every now and then. If you happen to bump into a human who thought they were safe, this gives you a huge advantage. Remember, “an off-guard human is a dead human.”


4) Fear not the sock.

It is important to remember that you are not as weak as your human self once was. Getting hit by a sock only means you are out of the game for 10-20 minutes. So in a sense, you don’t lose anything. Always be on the offensive when you encounter a human. “Prove that you are the one that should be feared.”


5) Simply because you’ve died does not mean there is no reason to play anymore.

Zombies are a vital part of Humans vs Zombies (it even says so in the name). Plus, there are many perks to being a zombie; no constant paranoia, you can walk around at your leisure, don’t have to worry about ammo. All you need to worry about is racking up your kill count, and you get brains!


Now that we have provided you with everything you need to know about being a ruthless, flesh-eating machine, go make the zombies proud! At the end of the day it’s all about having a good time, so “grab a few of your fellow undead, go hunting, and rejoice in how those feeble humans squirm.”

Image sourced from: https://pixabay.com/en/dead-death-final-end-ending-1205269/

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